Confused? Disappointed? Or maybe this was inevitable...

I don't know what to say. Part of me is shocked and disappointed in you, saying I thought we were more similar than that and I can't believe you dealt with things by getting drunk.

But there's another part of me that's thinking, well things aren't that easy at the moment, and you are 17 and perhaps it was inevitable you were going to do this sooner or later. Also, perhaps it's not so different to what I do, I cut when things get too much, you got stressed out and had too much to drink...the difference is that I keep what I do secret, you've worried a lot of people tonight.

You have left me with a huge dilema though, I know I shouldn't have read your texts, but what I saw really worried me, and I think with reason, so do I fess up to the 'rents? Do I just have a go at you (both involve admitting that I read your messages...) or do I just ignore it, and try and be a better sister and keep a closer eye on you.

There are two things that I really have to do right now though: sleep and revise...neither of which are going to be easy!

This is so true:

Sometimes I get sick of being that boring, reliable person, but other times I'm proud of it, I don't think that going off the rails would make my life any better :)

Wishing...

Having one of these would actually be so amazing, and not just because I'm a Doctor Who fan :P

If someone gave me a time machine right now there are two things I would have to do:
1) Go forward in time, maybe even just six months or so, so much is happening right now and it would be good to know how it's all going to pan out!
2) Go back, 10, maybe 15 years, and just enjoy being a kid!

This post makes no sense....I think I need to go to sleep....

Staying strong.

I still don't know how to deal with this, I'm going with lets be happy and smiley and positive, I don't know if that's helpful or annoying?

"Being strong" is the only thing that I know how to do, I actually think it would be harder to just fall apart, it would mean that I'd have to think more than a day at a time.



Are you swimming upstream, in oceans of blue?
Do you feel like your sinking?
Are you sick of the rain, after all you've been through
Well I know what you're thinking.
When you can't take it, you can make it
Sometime soon I know you will see,

'Cause when you're in your darkest hour,
And all of the light just fades away.
And when you're like a single flower,
Whose colours have turned to shades of grey,
Well hang on
Be strong.

You're taking each step one day at a time,
You can't lose your spirit.
Well let live and let live,
Forget and forgive,
And it's all how you see it.
And just remember, keep it together
Don't you know you're never alone?

'Cause when you're in your darkest hour,
And all of the light just fades away.
And when you're like a single flower,
Whose colours have turned to shades of grey,
Well hang on
Be strong.

No you're not defeated ohh
And soon you'll be smiling once again.
Then you won't have to feel it,
Let it go with the wind.
Time passes us by, and know that you're allowed to cry

'Cause when you're in your darkest hour,
And all of the light just fades away.
And when you're like a single flower,
Whose colours have turned to shades of grey,
Well hang on
Be strong.