Just in case you hadn't realised, this isn't easy for me either. Do you not think that I want to be there with you all, that I don't spend every second thinking, and worrying about what's going on. If you had any idea of how bloody guilty I felt about not being there then I really hope that you wouldn't have said that. It hurts so much to know that you're thinking that.
I know you think that I've got it easy but I haven't so just lay off and grow up.
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