So I had an anniversary last week, three years of cutting.
And today I had one of the worst cutting sessions I think I've ever had.
But for the first time I think I've noticed something about why I have to do this. It's like when I feel so rubbish about myself, so useless, so not worthy to be here, somehow by cutting myself, hurting myself, scarring myself, it's like I've punished myself for being all of the things that I hate about me, and now it's okay for me to be here again.
I know that it must be a hard thing to understand, but as long as it's helping me cope, surely it can't be that bad for the moment.
And today I had one of the worst cutting sessions I think I've ever had.
But for the first time I think I've noticed something about why I have to do this. It's like when I feel so rubbish about myself, so useless, so not worthy to be here, somehow by cutting myself, hurting myself, scarring myself, it's like I've punished myself for being all of the things that I hate about me, and now it's okay for me to be here again.
I know that it must be a hard thing to understand, but as long as it's helping me cope, surely it can't be that bad for the moment.
No comments:
Post a Comment